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Post in thread '😵‍💫 Skitzocow - Alexander Ferguson Smith / Sifu / SifuAmbience / SifuSmith'
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Sifu Banner Cohle.jpg
In the farthest depths of the Youtube ecosystem reside a class of streamers that continually pour out a deluge of live content to an audience of no one - only the most dedicated divers, like our own @Bilbo Boglims and @Soda Pressed , can reveal these gems of lolcowdom, hidden within the murky depths.


Enter martial artist, tech savant, let's player and political commentator extraordinaire Alexander "Sifu" Smith. One of the most influential Youtubers of his time, his footprint stretches back more than 13 years. What, you haven't heard of him? Then you too have fallen victim to

The Bitrape2.png



Bitrape describes a phenomenon in which hackers, members of the Trump administration and the incompetent techies that form Youtube's backbone conspire together to reduce Sifu's stream reach and appeal using a variety of insidious mechanisms:

From manipulating both views and likes:



And messing with "the trending":


To perhaps most insidiously, utilizing the stream as a beacon to make him lose at Elden Ring by manipulating the behavior of either his NPC-Ally or the bosses:



It couldn't be because Sifu is just kinda shit at dodging:


These hackers even change the weather patterns:


Why?


You may have heard the name of a rather familiar streamer there - in Sifu's (imagined) rogue's gallery, two individuals will pop up with alarming regularity:


But why would big streamers like Asmongold watch Sifu? Allow him to elaborate:



Sifu tirelessly documents this abuse to build a case that will ultimately bring down the rigged system, and to this end, routinely stops his streams. The reason?


Besides Asmongold, like every good paranoid schizo citizen, Sifu keeps an eye on feds and cops. For instance he noticed local law enforcement pulling over people in an area with poor cell reception:


The clever twist that allows them to get away with it?


This will inevitably lead to more bitrape:

Note how his stream includes a live bitrate, view and concurrent feed.

Sifu can get quite annoyed when people add and remove their likes on his stream:



Trump and his glowies are up to no good either, be it mind reading devices:


Or using the feds to mess with streamers Sifu watches that don't vote for him:


There's a whole MAGA cult causing his stream to buffer:


Microsoft is in on it too, when it makes his antivirus think it needs an update:


Or when he talks positively about Nvidia and they fuck with the game's weather


But Microsoft is not alone, they have Google to back them up:


Sifu will sometimes cope that what he spouts is actually meant to throw off the scammer.


The Scammer, or The Stalker, is perhaps an even more important villain than either the president or the roach king.

Wait, what's this about a rapist?


This is where things take somewhat of a darker turn and we have to look at the past to gain a possible understanding of the present. He was the owner of a dojo which went under because of high rent, and has also worked some time at Walmart (where his mom works as well). From what he said and his google review history (janky archive), he was employed at McDonalds for about 5 years. It's assumed that he lived with his girlfriend, rather than his mom as he does now. He has a younger and an older brother:


And finally Nathan Woodhull Smith, his father.
1769711822558.png

A father who was recently sentenced to 100 years for diddling kids in his care over multiple years in the early 2000s. [A1] [A2]

Sifu has constructed a network of cope that is difficult to convey through clips - the gist of it is that this scammer/hacker has framed his dad and the victims are accidentally complicit in it in one way or another - he claims one cries rape all the time, while the other was raped by the scammer, which was swept under the rug because of the scammer's family's influential status. When Sifu talks about "THE" Scammer, this is who he is referring to: the boogieman his schizo mind has constructed to cope with the horror of having a father who is a convicted rapist of children as young as 5.


As for Sifu himself?


This clip is from a now deleted 8 hour audio-only stream called "Manipulation" which was archived in time

He states that this happened to him in childhood but that the perpetrator was an older teenager. He also talks a bit about what happened after, but given how much time has passed and his mental state, he is an unreliable narrator at best.




He would go on to acknowledge that these experiences may have been the reason he went into martial arts.
Are we witnessing the gradual implosion of a man whose latent schizophrenia surfaced due to the childhood trauma of being molested by his own father?

Best not to think about it too much, here's Sifu getting bitraped again, clearly because he mentioned Legend of Zelda:



And a little story of young Sifu getting tricked into riding the shortbus to a tard school where he was bullied by a "not caucasian" kid


And a message to @LinusTech


And finally, here's Sifu's presidential Taco Bell story:


If you've made it all the way here, and you can still find the humor in it, feel free to drop by the Keno Kasino chat and watch along when he's live.

#FreeBossmanJack

@Bilbo Boglims for finding Sifu, clips and info
@cohle for the banner
@Gaunt King Ithan Rilph and @Winter for OP input, clips and archives
@dumbledore - he knows why
@Drip irrigation for a non caucasian clip and discovering diddling dad
@lol cow supreme - lmao Ferguson
And @Barsik, who had and still has a big hand in all this.

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