- Joined
- Sep 14, 2024
Background Information
Living in Buena Park, California, Noah Samsen, 27, is a well-known BreadTuber and commentator. His main YouTube channel has around 477k subscribers, and his videos typically garner over 200k views. He has other channels, including Noah Time, Noah Fit, and the Touch Grass Podcast.
Main channel: https://m.youtube.com/c/NoahSamsen
Noah Time channel: https://m.youtube.com/@noahtime_
Noah Fit channel: https://m.youtube.com/@noahfit/videos
Touch Grass Podcast channel: https://m.youtube.com/@touchgrasspodcast_/playlists
Noah Time channel: https://m.youtube.com/@noahtime_
Noah Fit channel: https://m.youtube.com/@noahfit/videos
Touch Grass Podcast channel: https://m.youtube.com/@touchgrasspodcast_/playlists
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/noahsamsen/?hl=en
Last.fm: https://www.last.fm/music/Noah+Samsen
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/nsamsen
Genius: https://genius.com/artists/Noah-samsen
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nsamsen.bsky.social
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noahsamsen
Threads: https://threads.net/noahsamsen
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/samsen
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/noahtime
Discord Server: https://discord.com/invite/ttPsPpcJdm
Personal Website: http://samsen.org (Wayback Machine) [Currently down]
Last.fm: https://www.last.fm/music/Noah+Samsen
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/nsamsen
Genius: https://genius.com/artists/Noah-samsen
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nsamsen.bsky.social
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noahsamsen
Threads: https://threads.net/noahsamsen
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/samsen
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/noahtime
Discord Server: https://discord.com/invite/ttPsPpcJdm
Personal Website: http://samsen.org (Wayback Machine) [Currently down]
He joined YouTube in 2007 and posted vlog videos until 2011. After a hiatus, he entered the YouTube spotlight in 2021 for his left-leaning, feminist content. His first video to reach a million views was “TikTok Has a Misogyny Problem”
Presentation Style: Mega Faggot
Noah has an odd and often inconsistent editing style that is either super boring or extremely loud and autistic. For example, his video “Think Before You Dox” includes very little animation and is practically a slide show that includes pictures from his childhood. The inclusion of these childhood pictures was particularly odd, as there was no point behind it. Furthermore, he has edited the videos of other content creators and musicians, including Ghoulavelii [Link].
His talking style is obnoxious and retarded, especially since it contradicts his massive ego. In videos, he talks with an ASMR voice that would make any girl drier than the Sahara Desert. Instead of listening to a sexy babe, we are subjected to the effeminate sounds that come out of this man’s shit-smeared mouth.
Physical Stats: None
In one of his videos, Noah claimed that he played sports in his youth, specifically high school football. Regardless of his prior experiences with sports, he is not physically fit or imposing. Moreover, he has a weird caterpillar mustache and mullet. He looks like a chubbier clone of Idubbbz.
Political Views
Politically, Noah is a male feminist who “fights” for women’s rights by deboonking chuds and incels on the internet.
Though his rhetoric is typical of BreadTube, his arguments and discussion points are notoriously flimsy, backed by very little research. Moreover, his inflammatory accusations and constant labeling has made him a nuisance, even in the BreadTube community. Often, he will characterize his political opponents as Nazis, transphobes, fatphobes, homophobes, and misogynists. By describing his opponents thusly, he weaponizes his audience to autistically attack his intended target.
He constantly tries to appeal to his female audience with body positive and empowering messages. This may indicate Noah’s desperation for pussy, or it definitely proves that he is a faggot who is emotionally and psychologically closer to a woman.
Relationships
Friends: A Hamas Shill and Pedophile
Because of his vitriolic nature, Noah has very few friends or political allies to rely on. One of his closest allies is Badempanda, an infamous BreadTuber who is known for his extremist behavior. Though Noah adopted a clear anti-doxxing stance after the Illymation drama, he is still friends with Badempanda after he doxxed SocialismDoneLeft over a petty dispute. Moreover, Badempanda is a suspected pedophile.
Leftist Enemies: A Cannibalistic Struggle
Noah has enemies inside and outside of the BreadTube community. His most consistent leftist rival is Xanderhal. Both of them are weaklings with little dignity, but Noah has proven to be the bigger faggot.
Besides Xanderhal, Vaush is BreadTube’s most prominent Noah-hater, but this hatred was born from a controversy that will be described in the next section.
Outside of BreadTube, Noah has been pummeled by other YouTubers and internet personalities, including Acheeto, Rob’s Media, ShreddedNerd, and especially Think Before You Sleep (TBYS).
Controversies
Vaush Feud: The Duel of the Retards
On February 8, 2022, Noah Samsen recorded a video that specifically targeted debate bros, including other BreadTubers. Among other criticisms, he characterized them as white supremacists and bigoted people.
One of the BreadTubers in this video, Vaush, challenged Noah to a debate live on Twitch. On February 9, 2022, Vaush and Noah debated, but Noah was handily outwitted by Vaush of all people.
After his crushing defeat, he liked a Tweet which called for Vaush to be “put down like a dog.” The loli enjoyer and Noah remain bitter rivals.
Patience Xina Debacle: Loves Black Ariel
On September 22, 2022, Patience Xina, a black YouTuber who mainly discusses political topics, released a video that criticized the Little Mermaid remake for “black-washing” a white story, instead arguing that Hollywood should tell African stories that do not require race swapping.
Noah immediately posted a video that critiqued Patience’s position and argued that she was inadvertently supporting conservatism, and he discredited her opinion, even though she is a black woman.
Patience released a response video that highlighted Noah’s hypocrisy and whiteknighting and attacked his perspective on representation in media. The video was posted on November 14, 2022.
After her response video, he deleted his original video, and he refuses to talk about this incident. Somehow, Noah acted more like a nigger than Patience.
Think Before You Sleep (TBYS) Rivalry: Just Kiss Already, Fags
This rivalry is quite long; as such, I will be skimming over some details. Beginning on May 17, 2023, Noah began to make videos on Think Before You Sleep (TBYS), an anti-woke commentary YouTuber who mainly discusses health, self-improvement, and politics. In his videos, Noah described TBYS as an incel, fatphobe, and misogynist.
Eventually, TBYS responded with a video that criticized his research methods and perspective on media and health. However, this dynamic took a dramatic shift with the Illymation drama.
Illymation Defender: Pussy Fever
On December 21, 2023, Illymation posted a video that advocated for body positivity and the acceptance of unhealthy diets.
TBYS responded by criticizing Illymation’s advocation of unhealthy diets and lifestyles.
Like most women, Illymation overreacted to this video and tried to convince her audience to flag TBYS’ video and deplatform him. Shortly thereafter, TBYS’ video was flagged and taken down. Now, it was war.
In response to this flagging campaign, a disgruntled fan of TBYS or a person with a vendetta against Illymation doxxed her. Heroically, Noah swooped in to save and comfort Illymation, licking his mustache in anticipation. He released a video on the doxxing, blaming the incident on TBYS. I guess that Noah forgot to apply this principle to his friendship with Badempanda.
Weirdly, Noah’s video featured his baby pictures and other photos from his childhood. It was very unsettling and weird, which raises some very uncomfortable questions.
After Noah’s video, TBYS goes into “crazy ex” mode and writes a long post about Illymation’s flagging campaign and Noah’s video on the situation.
Before TBYS could post a response video, Noah recorded another exposé on TBYS. Honestly, I could not figure out what he was saying in the video.
Finally, TBYS defended his position with a two-hour long video. The situation is still ongoing.
ChudLogic Accusation: What Was the Point?
On Twitter, Noah Samsen accused ChudLogic of pedophilia, which was based off of Logic's sexual conversations with an 18 year old girl. I suspect that his hatred of ChudLogic is mostly derived from his political views, as Noah does not criticize Badempanada's pedophilic comments. As mentioned by Rob's Media, many mistakenly identify this as the post that resulted in his ban from Twitter/X; rather, his ban was the consequence of a different post, which was arguably more damning.
Twitter Ban: "Elon Musk, I'm Coming to Kill You!"
Like most lefists/BreadTubers, Noah Samsen has a seething hatred for Elon Musk. Though he constantly used Twitter/X to express his opinions, he held contempt for Elon's business practices and supposedly extremist political ideals. As such, he committed seppuku on X by personally promising to kill Elon, which resulted in his immediate ban.
ShreddedNerd: You Look like a FAGGOT
Since I do not have enough time to go over this entire saga, I will use Blue Gem Muslim Queen’s summary of the situation. Again, I give full credit to BGMQ for this summary.
“Two months ago, this video was uploaded discussing the ironic/safe-edgy sleazebag hipster trend. Chances are you've seen it and is quite cathartic to see that [it] has a little over half a million subs. Well, one of the guys in the thumbnail is Noah Samsen and about three weeks ago he shared his takes on being called out for his looks.
- Noah met with Kurtis Conner, another ironic sleazebag, to record a podcast. About halfway through the video he calls Kurtis to ask why he had a mullet and Kurtis says he picked off from RuPaul's.
- Noah's sense of humour is broken. He has schizo edits of people going bald and making quips about how he is totally not a poser with the same dry as his ex delivery he has always had.
- Even though I already knew it, this video proves to me that Noah is retarded. At one point ShreddedNerd (the creator of the original video) shows a map of Europe without France as an example of [safe-edgy] and Noah asks if it's supposed to be Pangea. He either misunderstands jokes or takes them literally.
- Noah tells us he picked his mullet because an ex told him to and has to 'subtly' say that is emasculating to take advice from a woman.
- Noah's take can be summarized as other people pretended to be poor sleazebags in the past and the guy has a stupid hateboner for ironic sleazebags.
- A big point of the video is how these ironic sleazebags tend to be manipulators that are intimately aware of how to take advantage of women (being it by pretending to share interests or by keeping tab on stuff as personal as ovulation). Noah answers that it isn't weird for men to care about those things, purposely missing the point.
- The original creator then asks his female fanbase what they would think of a guy that does those things just to have sex with them, Noah makes fun of the guy for not having a big female audience, plays a manosphere clip and flips the question to allude that the creator is implying women want fucked up toxic relationships.
- A big part of the original video [is] clips from an Instagram account that represents an exaggerated version of the ironic sleazebag and Noah defuses by asking if the guy doesn't get it's a character. Noah repeats this even though the original video acknowledges this but says that the guy plays the character too well to just be a character. Noah cut that last part.
- Noah says that is a big jump in logic to accuse male feminists of being pick-mes but most of his responses to the guy amount to saying he is a manosphere incel.
- Says he liked the video, except for some bits and that he isn't soy.
- Outro is Noah lifting weights and some soft music covering his loud exhales. Guy did like 5 reps.”
Rob’s Media: STFU, Nigger
Rob’s Media is a YouTube channel that mainly discusses internet stories and history. In one of his videos, he covered Noah Samsen, describing him as an idiot influencer who uses virtue signaling to assume a supposedly moral position, despite the obvious lies and misrepresentation.
Later, Rob made a video on the general BreadTube community and criticized their immoral or retarded practices, such as faking their “nice guy” persona, weaponizing their audience, dehumanizing their opponents, engaging in team sports, acting like crybullies, and using “safe-edgy” humor. The video contains a clip of Noah misinterpreting one of ShreddedNerd’s points and exemplifies his Down syndrome.
However, Noah did not take this critique lightly and recorded several responses to Rob’s video “Why I Hate BreadTubers,” addressing each section of his argument. In his first response, he tried to defend his past comments and actions, but he failed to present any decent argument. When Rob mentioned that Noah had supported the idea of killing Vaush, he argued that liking a comment that calls for Vaush’s death is not the same as supporting his death. As you can tell, Noah is completely lobotomized.
The other videos are just as terrible, and most of them lack any substantial evidence to support his arguments. Instead of denouncing his grifting practices, he embraced his role as a propagandist for the left. Overall, these videos do not address any of the allegations against him, and he simply wears his scummy reputation as a badge of honor
His latest video, though including some clips from Rob’s video, is mainly a defense of other BreadTubers. He defended EthanIsOnline’s involvement in the SuperMega drama, BadEmpanada’s threats to dox his opponents, and Denim’s blatant stupidity. However, to my surprise, he included a clip of Bigbunjeeeeee’s video on Ethan, and he alluded to the prospect of producing a future video to defend Ethan from critics such as Bigbunjeeeeee. If this news reaches Bigbunjeeeeee, I hope that he makes a video on Noah just to spite him. He has messed with the wrong YouTuber.
Conclusion
How could one describe Noah Samsen? He is the “nice guy” who claims to be the defender of women and their rights, yet he lacks principles or basic mental faculties. He has accused people of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and so forth with little or no evidence. He is the epitome of a “whiteknight,” a pitiful man who tries to get pussy through activism.
There are many other dumb things that Noah Samsen has done, but that would take years to record them all. He is a grifter and lolcow who deserves every ounce of mockery. Hopefully, this faggot will have his mustache ripped off by Rob and his mullet eviscerated by Bigbunjeeeeee.
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Major Contributors to the OP:
The Jonkler: The Jonkler
Blue Gem Muslim Queen: Blue Gem Muslim Queen
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